LOST DREAM

I have been asked why are you moving to New Zealand to practice medicine?  First and foremost I have become disillusioned by American physicians loss of control of their patients care and the over emphasis on productivity and profitability. There is a important philosophical shift in American medicine where the first priority is no longer what’s in the best interest of the patient but rather what’s in the best financial interest of the health care system. For 29 years, I practiced in NE Florida. I was very happy in private practice and was living the American dream of owning my business. I could build close and lasting relationships with my patients. As I watched reimbursement for my services decline, my referring doctors’ practice was bought out by competing hospital networks. I could no longer admit my patients to the hospital. They were admitted by a hospitalist. My overhead escalated, so I sold my cardiology practice to the hospital. As a hospital employee, my dream turned into a nightmare. The local hospital administrator used to ask how can we help you deliver better care to your patients, corporate medicine now asks how can we make you more productive To emphasize this this shift in philosophy they changed the name of the hospital, from the patron saint of doctors to the name of the money oriented corporation. I became an outsider in my own institution. I lasted for 19 months and my last day of employment was Nov. 15th 2012. It is sad that the American dream of owning your own medical practice is fading in the United States. I was hit with this shocking realization that I felt like a refugee, no longer owner of my own business in charge of my own life. So I started a new life in New Zealand. While living in New Zealand, there was a moment when I realized I no longer was the same person. Life had changed. And the me before slowly faded in the fabric of the years. If I looked closely, the scars were there, but they no longer caused pain. Now they were simply part of my story. Instead of being something I ran from they became something that created the strength in who I am now.